What's it Gonna Take!?

not the most flattering outfit.  I was around 10 or 11 here

As a young person I never struggled with my weight,

yeah sure in 7th grade I had an awkward phase, but it was not extreme, and it was short lived.

When I was at my thinnest and best looking, life threw me a loop and I got pregnant with my son.

I gained a total of 85 pounds with him and that sent me reeling. 

I had no idea how to get in shape and I had positively NO work ethic in that way.

It was awful.

Somehow, {magically} I lost a lot of it, but I never got back to my prepregnancy weight (135).  

The lightest I ever got again was 170. 

Which still wasn't all that bad, I honestly was probably too skinny before my son if I'm being completely honest. 

before I got pregnant with my daughter I was about 180.

I gained fast.  like real fast, it sucked.

Not to mention we were in a very unsure time in our lives where we really had to best intentions of doing what we needed to, but our plans were foiled at nearly every turn.  It was a rough year 2009.

Our daughter was born and I gained about 20 lbs less than I did with my son, but still, that totally sucked.

I waited around hoping it would fall off on it's own, and as I'm sure you can guess that never happened.  

after a year or so we started running, I was miserable.

My husband is a natural runner, it comes really easy to him and it always has, he has a great work ethic when it comes to exercising.  

Skip ahead to I get down to 191 last year at my lowest and that was a 32 lb loss!  wow!

All of a sudden everything comes to a halt.  no more loss.  here comes gaining again.

With being so consumed by school I have fallen behind.  

I need to get back in the game but It's so hard for me to get motivated.

I'm back up to 208 last I checked and it's terrible.  I feel horrible.  I hate myself for every getting back above 200.

It's time for a serious change.  

I got a FitBit Zip (which I am freaking GAGA over!!) 

and am beginning to realize just how sedentary I am.  

Don't get me wrong I know that a lot of that cant be helped with having to buckle down for schoolwork

but I am refusing to believe I can't be more active.

This is another new beginning.  

We have the Tough Mudder to go to in early April.

We HAVE to get it together!

This thing is crazy difficult and if you don't believe me watch this vid:

it still gives me chills every time I watch it.

(are we freaking crazy!?)

So here's the plan:

1.   I'm jumping back on the P90X train today!  I'm not waiting, I'm starting today from the beginning.  When I was doing it I was at my best, so back to the drawing board there.
2. I'm also cutting out coffee for a while.  I wouldn't worry about it so much if I could stand to drink it black, but just yuck. 
3. Another thing is that we are ditching huge dinners.  we eat way too much in the evenings, so it's bigger breakfast and lunch and a nice lean dinner
4. I will be more strict about logging all my food in myfitnesspal
5. We are going to try to eat fewer processed foods and eat more veggies and fruits, because you can eat way more of them and get more nutrients and fewer calories.

(Which BTW folks I would really love some recipes for yummy veggie/fruit stuffs if ya got some!!)

Anyway.  I just wanted to share, and hopefully fish for some encouragement from y'all.  

I have got to make this work.  It has to stick this time.  I am so tired of looking back over the 3 years since Grace was born and saying "Why haven't I lost all of this yet?! I had so much time!"

Thanks for reading.

for those of you who didn't---

tl;dr translation:

I'm too fat

Gotta lose weight

the Tough Mudder is in April

Are you on myfitnesspal?  Friend me

Do you have a Fit Bit? Friend me